The Worst News. Ever.

Me, three weeks ago:

My favorite toothpaste is Crest Pro Health. It’s so delicious that if it were non-toxic and socially acceptable, I would eat it on crackers. The health repercussions are much more of a concern to me, as I think I would be ok being “that guy who eats toothpaste on crackers” because I assume anyone who would shun me over that wouldn’t be friends with me in the first place.

What I read yesterday:

I used Crest ProHealth for a few months, and at my next dentist’s appointment, my hygienist asked what-in-the-sam-hell kind of toothpaste I was using, because she could see that it was burning my gums and the insides of my cheeks.

My dentist, who is extremely good at his work and is also something of a hippie, recommends Tom’s of Maine toothpaste in the antiplaque variety, so I switched over and haven’t had trouble with irritated gums since then. I happen to love the fennel-flavored toothpaste, so that was reason enough for me to switch. But apparently Crest ProHealth really causes problems for some people. (And I didn’t know it was actually causing me problems until the dental hygienist said so, either.)

Might want to stop using that stuff, if it seems to be doing weird things to you anyway.

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Is nothing sacred? I have some serious soul-searching to do here…